Still, thanks for both of your kind words. Really grateful to know there are such people looking out for you, uhh whoever you 2 are. xD Safe to say, I'm fine now. ;)
People are still kinda stunned about how I managed to recover that quickly from you-know-wad. And to be honest, laz afternoon I was really very down, to the point that I don't think I can go any lower. :( To the point that I not only cannot appreciate the upbeat songs, but have to skip it and go for those emo-sounding or lots of expletives kind of song. :S I seriously wasn't thinking at that time. Nothing's going into my head except you-know-wad.
But by the night, I'm suddenly back to normal. A case of me probably not loving her enough? Definitely not.
When a person hits rock bottom, the only way...is up.
After that post yesterday, I think I let out everything I've got. Not hiding everything, yet hiding some things to protect sum1's identity. That probably made me feel much better.
But the thing that really made me feel better is, ironically, thinking about her. While she was not there, I used the evening period to really think it through. And I've decided.
If I continue with being all down and everything, she's bound to suspect something. And why make myself go through all that torture, torment when her heart's not even here, rite?
Besides, I know, being happy, is what she wants me to be. Lover, or not. I just want her to be happy.
I kept thinking of how I'm gonna put this, but I'll juz shabbily say it how I thought of it. The pain in my heart will forever be there. Damage is done, which cannot be undone. But now, the pain will forever be masked, iced in a part of my heart. Forever going to be that unspoken confession. That iceberg that will never melt.
It's still all about her, all for her.
Isn't it?
But so many nights now
I find myself thinkin' about her now
Coz obviously
She's out of my league
But how can I win, she keeps, draggin' me in, and I, know I
Never will be good enough for her.
...
I'll put it behind me (I'll put it behind me)
Go to a place where she can't find me, oh
Coz obviously
She's out of my league
I'm wastin' my time, coz she'll, never be mine, and I, know I
Never will be good enough for her.
No, no
Never will be good enough for her
She's outta my hands, and I never know where I stand
Coz I'm not, good enough for her
He's good enough for her
from a distance...
