I don't know what got into me today, but today evening, after the girls Touch Rugby finals at JJC, I was looking at which bus to take to go home. No bus reached Woodlands. So I looked for buses that went to MRTs, which led me to see a particular station. Without any doubt, I immediately decided to take that bus, and on the way, it made me think about alighting 2 stops before that MRT station, to a bus stop which gave me a lot of memories. The 1st $2.20 drinks that I very willingly bought, the smses that came after alighting from that stop about how happy it was, the bus that I used to take, the gaze after leaving the bus just to see more...

I alighted at that stop and just walked the entire path to the MRT station, using that time to just recollect...and recollect...

20:53

There you see it, exactly 1 month, and another milestone in my discovery of myself.

Me trying to help, trying to be concerned always = failing/angering/pissing ppl off, etc.

Thing is, I want everything between us to work, and in the end, even just being friends, I failed in all of them.

Done deal, I totally suck.

22:11

Then again, when I look at my wallet, rich or well-off, I'm not.

When I look at my results, smart I'm not.

When I look at myself in the mirror...maybe I really don't deserve anything at all.

I just hope that no one else in d world would be treated like dat, even when termed 'friends'.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all.

19:20

22:44

Every night, I curl up in bed, muffing any cries I may have. Every morning, on the bus to school, I have one hand holding onto my phone, the other clinging tightly onto that frog, even if there are sharp edges, hoping that a miracle, and really a huge miracle, could happen. Yes I'm weak, coz I really don't know what else I can do already.

Till now, it hasn't.

Again, it's a lone battle, and I am still the annoying, uninteresting pest.

14:58

Before I start, I do this on account of no one but myself. THIS HAS NO ONE INVOLVED except me.

19:43

Imagine d sudden silence without knowing what hit you. Ouch. That sux.

self-encouragement for bio lecture test tmr, i guess.

I...can...do...it.

I think.

17:25

give it 1 more week.

hang in there.

23:46

My new blogsong. Every word speaks for itself. Every word.

I shouldn't have, walked away

I would've stayed, if you said

We could've made, everything ok, but we just

Threw the blame, back and forth

We treated love, like a sport

The final blow, hit so low

I'm still, on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall

Shattered in pieces curled on the floor

Supernatural love conquers all

Remember we, used to touch, the, sky

Lightning don't strike, the same place twice

When you and I, said goodbye

I felt the angels cry

True love's a gift

We let it drift, in a storm, every night

I felt the angels cry

C'mon babe can't our love be revived?

Bring it back and we gon' make it right

I'm on the edge just trying to survive

As the angels cry

[Ne-Yo]

I thought we'd be forever and always

You were serenity you took away the bad days

Didn't always treat you right, but it was ok

I do something stupid, and you still stay with me

But you can only go for so long

Doing the one you claim to love wrong

Before too much is enough, you look up

Find your love gone, and

We were, so good together

How come, we could not weather

This storm, and just do better

Why, did we say goodbye

19:35

11:48

One day after lecture, he saw her wiv another guy frm her class. Dat guy had his hand over her shoulder and she didn't seem 2 mind one bit. I was there to see it when it happened. It happened once before too with the same guy, but i wasn't there at that time.

My 1st reaction to my friend was, so u're juz gonna nt go fr her b'coz u've seen that? He then reacted quite aggressively, saying "but seeing like that, which guy would be able to take it?"

"Yea, i know wad u mean" was all I could tell him.

He's right. No guy in d right mind would tolerate such things over and over again, esp coz he wasn't in the know. No one, guys or gals, would want d other party 2 do something without knowing wad juz happened. Coz when he does find out, d hurt is indescribable. Overwhelming, unbearable.

I feel fr u, dude. Just hope this doesn't hold you back. I've told u things too, but there r some things u can learn from me, most u can't. Good luck.

11:36

21:47

That don't bother me

I can take a few, tears now and then and just, let 'em out

I'm not afraid to cry, every once, in a while, even though

Going on, with you gone, still upsets me

There are days, every now, and again, I pretend, I'm okay

But that's, not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And havin' so much to say

And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'

What could've been

And not seein' that loving you, is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal, with the pain of losing you, everywhere I go

But I'm doing it

It's hard to force that smile, when I see our old, friends and I'm alone

Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with, this regret,

But I know, if I could do it over

I would trade, give away, all the words, that I saved, in my heart

That I left unspoken

19:41

I am still waiting, no matter wad.

20:45

22:58

21:54

00:01

Actually, maybe I do. My mind's still floating somewhere in the air...

22:03